Things That Are Epic vs. Things That Are Not*
Per the Dictionary:
epic (ˈɛpɪk)
— n
1. A long narrative poem recounting in elevated style the deeds of a legendary hero, esp one originating in oral folk tradition
2. The genre of epic poetry
3. any work of literature, film, etc, having heroic deeds for its subject matter or having other qualities associated with the epic:
4. an episode in the lives of men in which heroic deeds are performed or attempted
— adj
5. denoting, relating to, or characteristic of an epic or epics
6. of heroic or impressive proportions: an epic voyage
In other words, things that are epic:
Homer’s The Odyssey:
The Godfather Trilogy:
Roald Amundsen’s expedition to the South Pole:
Thing that is not *technically* “Epic” but we can call Epic anyway:
Faith No More’s “Epic:”
Things that are not Epic:
Your food.
Some shitty band that is best used as background music while Meredith Grey whines about being a whiny bitch.
Last…but certainly not least: You.
*If Sarah still had her blog, I’d link to her JOURNEY post. But the bitch didn’t just stop blogging, she DELETED IT ALL TOGETHER. Still…credit where credit is due!
I did google this to see what others had to say and indeed, it has been done before . Whatever.
I think your blog is pretty epic
I SEE WUT U DID THAR
omgz remember that time we ran across the state of NJ? that was epic.
just kidding.
i like this post.
Remember that time we were hung over and went and ran in the rain????????? TOTALLY EPIC
What if you’re really hungry so your oatmeal is of EPIC proportions? & by epic I mean an entire 1/2 cup.
*epic post* also, despite what you say, i AM epic as is my daily poo-looking oatmeal.
I’ve never had poo-looking oatmeal, but I’ve had oatmeal-looking poos.
Dear God, THANK YOU!
BUT THE OATMEAL HAD SUNFLOWER BUTTER IN IT!
Of course it was epic.
Post request: adjectives that can and cannot be combined with “balls.” I’m not sure what (if anything) is on the add list, but I sure as hell know what isn’t. COUGH AMAZEBALLS COUGH
I cringe when people say that word in real life now.
Thanks, blogging community. My online and offline worlds are colliding and destroying one another.
But my fave blogger just got knocked up by her HUBZ! I cried when I read it I was so happy for her. I’m knitting her baby a blanket as we speak. She is totes epic. Stop being such a omghater!
omg…that made me spew my water…dead on!
omigosh you mean you don’t think oatmeal is epic? oftentimes 100s of followers agree and comment how epic it is too… probably everysingleday.
except it actually is epic. epically stupid.
Is it ok if I treat you like my priest? And by “my priest” I mean I’m going to make a confession but really I don’t know if that’s how that works because I’m Jewish/Heathen.
I can’t judge epic because I went through a phase in college when I reguarly said uber. Mostly to piss my roommate off, but still.
Phew. I feel better now.
Uber is equally bad as epic, if not worse.
The only higher crime is “woot”
almost as bad as WAH. Or LOLz.
Could I make millions by starting an oatmeal company and naming it Epic Oatmeal?
Yes. Yes you could. AND I WANT IN ON THAT RACKET!!
Even if it’s been done before, it’s the type of thing that should be repeated. Tips for not gaining weight over the holidays and what to buy for the man in your life? Those can go away.
Also, I love Louis CK’s take on the misuse of awesome. And no, your protein pancakes are not awesome.
What about vomiting over a balcony into a crowd of people at a frat party? As the vomiter, I’d have to say it was of impressive proportions…
I think that falls under number 6: of heroic or impressive proportions. So yes, that is epic! haha
Duh, that oatmeal is clearly not epic – where is the pumpkin/sunflower butter/protein powder/rabbit poop topping?? Also, I miss Sarah’s blog.
BRB CALLING FAKE IP LAWYER
I SLANDERED U I MEAN LIBELED I MEAN SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET CALLED YOU A BITCH
But…I had epic diarrhea last week. That counts as epic, right?
See also: Legendary
But what about the Twilight series? That HAS to be epic, right???
Okay, fine. But if a post could be epic, I would say this one is. Instead, let’s just call it awesomesauce.
(I love this post. Thank you)
can you also please define amazeballs?
Love it.
Also, it is the greatest tragedy in the world that Sarah deleted her damn blog.
one might even say an epic tragedy….
I HATE the word “awesomesauce.” From what hideous crevice of popular culture did that word crawl? “Awesomeballs” might be worse though–fortunately I’ve never actually seen/heard anyone use it with a straight face.
LOL – this is the best blog post ever to exist in the whole wide world. Made. My. Day.
But what are you thankful for?
MAH DICK
I AM THANKFUL FOR DEEZ NUTZ
does this count? http://www.tuftsgloballeadership.org/programs/epiic
Oh yes. I can’t even describe how much the misuse of that word annoys me. (Or did I just…?) Plus I second Jessica on the word legendary. Now that word ticks me off. Especially as in “It’s gonna be legen… wait for it… dary!”, usually referring to some party.
Oatmeal may not be epic, but Cream of Wheat…
What is epic? The question… why are you angry, angryrunner?
Well, I was orphaned at 3 while I watched my mother killed in front of me. I was born into blood. My adoptive father, a cop, took me in. Soon he realized that the blood…it got into ME. He knew that I was full of darkness – a dark passenger, if you will. So he taught me how to compartmentalize and how to kill people without being caught. I can’t tell you about the blood lust. Every night…my dark passenger wants to come out and play. He wants to kill! But I do as my father taught me and only take out the people that the law couldn’t reach. I do society’s dirty work. I am…
Oh shit, that’s the premise of Dexter.
MY BAD
O.K. Fair enough, lol. I’m a new follower and you intrigue me. I am a simpleton who never saw Dexter, and a kind soul who is kinda caught up in running right now training for my first Marathon. Not being angry, your blog caught my interest, and I thought I’d jump on board to see if I could figure it out. If your’e angry, I say Okay, go with it, I LOVE to agree to disagree. Peace, and nothing but good wishes for you, I will be following… :~}
The B side of Faith No More’s The Real Thing . . . Maybe the best B side in history! When I was 17 the only claim that I had to anything close to coolness was that I knew about Faith No More before anyone else around me!
this post really made me laugh. awesome!
I’m so sad that Sarah’s blog is gone. I think my favorite post ever (about charity runners…) was on her blog. Sadness. And I hate epic.
And of course, you posted this right as she was getting up to run. Fitting giving her guest post today.
This post was epic.
Just discovered your blog. I love it. I always feel like punching someone when they tell me how epic their weekend was.