AWESOME MONDAY
Oh HI READERS!
How are you today? 
I am AWESOME. 
Image source.
DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT?
You should.
Because I’m AWESOME. And I run. And I yell about stuff, but only because I’M AWESOME. I am so AWESOME that some days, I just talk about the fact that I LOVE ME and all of my awesomeness.
It might help if I posted a picture of myself that I have posted before, right?
I POSTED THIS JUST A COUPLE DAYS AGO
See guys? I posted THAT PICTURE just because a few of you told me I looked AWESOME in it so I have to remind you THAT I AM AWESOME by posting the picture that you complimented before!
Awesome.
So anyway guys, let me tell you about my AWESOME weekend:
I hung out with friends and it was AWESOME! We drank tequilla and talked about bleached assholes! It was SO AWESOME! I have the BEST FRIENDS EVER! Because TRUE FRIENDS TALK ABOUT ASSHOLE BLEACHING!
Then the next day I RECOVERED FROM DRINKING by BLEACHING MY ASSHOLE DRINKING A GREEN DRINK GETTING MY ASS OUT THE DOOR AND RUNNING ANYWAY!
I RAN SO FAST YOU GUYS BECAUSE I AM AWESOME. Did you know I run, guys? I’ve run HUNDREDS OF RACES IN MY LIFE and that makes me an EXPERT ON RUNNING and everything else that is involved with running like DRIVING TO RACES and DRINKING COFFEE BEFORE RACES and WHAT T SHIRT TO WEAR.
THERE IS A PICTURE OF ME RUNNING IN CASE YOU FORGOT THAT I RUN
It’s true!
Anyway, I was so busy debating over pictures of myself to post in this post as opposed to the words i am RIGHTING and HOW I SPELL that I FORGOT WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
Oh right.
THAT I AM AWESOME!
But not nearly as awesome as I would be if I had a hubby and a dog 
Because as AWESOME as I am, I AM NOTHING WITHOUT A HUBBY AND A DOG. I think my blog would be more popular IF I HAD A HUBBY AND A DOG, and maybe if I ate moar oats.
DO YOU AGREE?????
Y/N
CIRCLE ONE
KTHX BAI
P.S. ALL OF THIS IS OK BECAUSE I AM AWESOME! I WROTE IT ON A POST IT NOTE SO I REMEMBER! 
the only thing I got out of this post was an intense craving for a hot dog.
HOT DOGS ARE AWESOME
but they’re PROCESSED.
true, but I AM LISTENING TO MY BODY AND MY BODY WANTS A HOT DOG.
Related: that’s what she said.
I WANT TO HAVE A BABY
NOW I HAVE THE BABY FEVER ZOMGZ I WANT A BABY NOW SO I CAN CARRY IT AROUND TO REMIND ME HOW AWESOME I AM
For some reason, I’m thinking about the Butthole Surfers. Whatever happened to those guys? They were awesomesauce.
zomgz they were SO AMAZEBALLS AND EPIC, almost as epic as LADY GAGA WHO WAS BORN THIS WAY Y’ALL
The wiener has an asshole.
ASSHOLES ARE AWESOME
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQlIVMHSq8E&w=480&h=390%5D
Or I should say YOUR wiener has an asshole.
hahahaha oh god.
HI KELLY
U R AWESOME GURL
Awesome Post!
Wait….you didn’t take pictures of yourself before and after your run? Does. Not. Compute.
I forgot my camera on my run! So silly of me
My readers must be sad 
BUT ITS OK BECAUSE I AM AWESOME
This post is bullshit, you know to be truly awesome you need multiple copies of the same outfit/similar pose.
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE MY FANCY CAMERA HELP MY BLOG PICTURES ARE INADEQUATE
ITS OKAY THOUGH BECAUSE I AM EPIC
(brb writing on a post it note)
However the hot dog may make up for it.
IT’S A SOY HOT DOG WITH ORGANIC CATSUP ON A WHOLE FOODS BUN
YOU ARE NOT AWESOME FOR SAYING CATSUP.
True story: I spell it that way because Ketchup looks weird when spelled out.
Ummm, you would be way more awesome if you had a husband and a CAT. Seriously. Now go out and get one of each.
OK BRB GETTING CAT WILL TAKE 54 PICTURES OF BE CHOOSING CAT AND POSTING WITH CAT MAKING DUCKFACE
Hahaha if you ever saw my cell phone and the # of pics I have of my cat you might puke.
NO WAI GURL, U R AWESOME
(though on a serious note, if we can meet up in Boston – I might ask to see them.
)
I think we need to put that on our Boston agendas! AWESOME!!
AWESOMESAUCE
Wow! No husband or dog, huh? That’s shocking with the amount of awesomeness in the air!
Good thing you had your race number on in that one picture or I might have thought you were being chased down by those three guys.
OMGZ, that would be so scurrrry! It’d be so scurrreeddd!!! I don’t have a hubby or a dog to protect me! IT’S SO SAD!!!! Not epicsauce at all!
Getting the bartender to Google the price of asshole bleaching WAS in fact pretty AWESOME.
My Awesome comment about your Awesome post hasn’t shown up on your Awesome blog yet, but Word Press is so Awesome that it won’t let me Duplicate my Awesome post. How Awesomely awesome is that! BTW: my first Awesome Comment was “Awesome Post!” which I just thought was the most awesomely appropriate thing to say!
ZOMGZ SO AWESOME AND AMAZEBALLS TELL ME MOAR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDCDdjOUmEk Here is an awesome little song to make you laugh on this awesome little day!
So what you’re saying is, you’re awesome?
ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO AWESOME ITS AWESOME AND AMAZEBALLS
You’re awesomeness is amazeballs.
THANKS GURLIE, UR EPIC
Hey, wait, where’s your oatmeal?
this post is missing 1) writing AWESOME in sixteen different colors and font sizes and 2) pics of some nasty-looking green recovery smoothie you drank that was like, a-ma-zing.
p.s. twitter tells me you are running quite a lot these days. that is non-ironically AWESOME (oh, did I ruin it by capitalizing?)
SEE, I NEED A HUBBY TO HELP ME FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE DIFFERENT COLORS!!!
( And I actually do have a picture of a weird green smoothie in the archives ever that I made when I had the flu last year and resorted to witch doctor-y. Ha.)
And yep, experimenting with some training tweaks which I may elaborate on soon. If I can figure out if there is actually a method to my madness just yet. Hah.
Defining your own awesomeness. On a Monday. What will Tuesday bring???
I think I will write a tutorial on defining your own EPICNESS, complete with a step by step guide.
There better be MS Paint involved. ZOMG.
You need to bleach the weiner’s asshole.
Hey — reading this post made me vomit a little in my mouth. Is that because you’re AWESOME or because this post was so fucking CHEERY? Go find a husband with a dog already.
I AM BEING HAPPY FOR MY READERS B/C I LOVE YOU ALL
I hope you’re tagging all these pictures and keeping your race IDs for your race book. Then you can do a blog post about the book and remind us again that you run a lot!
zomgz u know i am! and i already have a scrapbook for my FUTURE HUSBAND!
i hope he LURVES oats!
It’s official. I think I have a girl crush.
Enjoy your OIAJ!
I DID GURL, THEY WERE EPIC!!!
OMGZ this post just reiterates how awesome-sauce you really are! I don’t know how you have time for so much running because it looks like your life is just SOOO busy with awesome things to do. I also think it is awesome how you sign up for so many races, but don’t bother to train for them and then wonder why you are sore when you do run. But you probably know what you’re doing because you have run SO MANY RACES and SO FAST that you can carry your camera with you and take pics! And I love that your goal for your next race is to cheer other people on. Because road races are just supposed to be amazingly fun, right?
PS – More pictures!!!!!!!
THANKS GURL, I NEED TO LEARN TO LISTEN TO MY BODY AND SLOW DOWN SO I CAN TAKE MOAR PICCIES AND BE A BETTER BLOGGER AND EVEN MORE AWESOME SAUCE
COME BACK SOON
46 awesome comments in one short hour. You sure know how to write a blog post! If only I were as awesome. At least the hot dog is from whore foods.
THE KEY IS TO BE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!
as soon as I saw the giant hot dog, i knew I was going to love this post. and I was not disappointed. because U R AWESOME!
THANKS GURLFRIEND, U R AWESOME TOO…I KEEP FORGETTING TO TELL U
I laughed so hard about the re-post of the running photo. Thanks for making me smile on a Monday.
U R WELCOME, REMEMBER U R AWESOME
So why are you all blocked on twitter? I want to follow your awesomesauceness and you won’t let me!
What is UR name on teh twatters? I HAVE SO MANY REQUESTS I MAY HAVE MUSSED U.I FOUND YOU. You should be able to read now.
I’M SORRY, I AM JUST THAT AWESOME
how much do you weigh?
BEAUTIFUL AWESOME POUNDS
ROFLMAO
One hot dog with a side of UR AWESOMESAUCE plz.
U CAN USE THE AWESOMESAUCE TO BLEACH THAT HOT DOG’S ASSHOLE
Hehe! <– yep, that's all I got!
YAYSIESAWESOMESAUCEEPICBALLS
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
No seriously, you really are awesome. This post (and comments) just made my evening.
THANKS GURL, PUT THIS POST ON A POST IT AND YOU WILL REMEMBER HOW AWESOMESAUCEYEPICBALLS U R
You are so inspiring and embody banishing fat talk. I wish I could be as brave as you and post pictures of myself running in a sports bra. You truly motivate me to love my body no matter what. That’s epic.
TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF AND PUT IT ON YOUR MIRROR, LIKE A POST IT. TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT U R BEAUTIFUL
Not until I’m at my happy weight. Which I’ll get to by running at my happy pace and doing hot yoga in my lululemon pants.
DON’T RUN TOO MUCH, IT MIGHT MAKE YOU A BETTER RUNNER
INSTEAD DO LOTS OF YOGA, SLEEP 10 HOURS A NIGHT, NEVER MASTURBATE AND STRETCH MORE MINUTES THAN YOU RUN PR DAY
Wait, you run?! I couldn’t tell! Maybe you should start taking pictures of yourself in the mirror before and after every workout!!!
I should! I should also stop every 50 feet to take a new picture, just so you know what EVERY STEP I TOOK LOOKED LIKE. Most of these pictures will be from the same angle cuz that’s amazeballs. Who cares about content when you can have LOTS OF PICCIES
you’d be totes MORE awesomesauce if you posted a photo of your oatmeal breakfast, salad for lunch, and totally sensible (but not diet, because you’re not watching your weight, you just want to live healthy) dinner. oh, and your snacks too. please tell me you had some greek yogurt.
ZOMGZ GREEK YOGURT IS SO EPIC I USE IT TO BLEACH MY ASSHOLE
Epic ballsauce!!!
THAT BALLSAUCE IS AMAZEBALLS
OMGZ! I totally just posted a post-it of my awesome-ness! FER REELZ i WANNA BE LIKE U!
WRITE “U R AWESOME” ON A POST IT SO EVERYONE EMBRACES THEIR AWESOMENESS
I have found that the best way to display your awesomeness is to rock a different race t-shirt every day of the week, walk around bouncing your shoulders and point to the shirt rapping “this is why, this is why, this is why I’m hot”
I ALSO WEAR MY MEDALS TILL MY NEXT RACE
You wear them until your next race? That must get heavy. You should get one of these: http://www.alliedmedaldisplays.com/
I WILL GET ONE AND WEAR IT ON MY HEAD
I hope you enjoyed one square of organic dark chocolate “to satisfy your cravings” after you wrote this post.
I DID! I LISTENED TO MY BODY AND SPLURGED! I BROKE OFF SLIGHTLY MORE THAN A SQUARE AND ATE IT ANYWAY!
You know whats more awesome? Attending hot yoga after you spend $2600 on groceries at Whole Foods. Slightly indie = way awesome.
BUT I HAD A GROUPON SO THOSE 2600 ON GROCERIES REALLY ONLY COST ME 2500
LQTM. Keep up the awesomeness.
U TOO, AWESOME-O!
Along with the hubby and dog, could you please include more pictures of the oatmeal you eat each morning? Perhaps with multiple types of nut butters.
Fact: I am going to start a company called DEEZ NUTZ butters with a picture of balls on them. Do you think some prominent health bloggers would review it if I sent them a sample?
DEEZ NUTZ (i almost typed BUTZ” that would work too)
EPIC post. But for some reason I couldn’t find the picture of you wearing a tutu and posing with a mascot. OMG, were there no mascots at your race? Please tell me you at least got your tierra.
I stopped to hump Mickey Mouse in the middle of my race! It was EPICSAUCE.
This is the most epic, awesomesauce post I’ve ever read!!! Congrats. YOU ARE NOW A HELATHY LIVING BLOGGER!!!! I have to say though, I was REALLY looking forward to the duckface. Also, LOVE those shamrock ribbons. I MUST GET A PAIR FOR MYSELF. And if you want me to keep reading you’re gonna have to bleach yer asshole a little more often.
Shamrock ribbons: 2 for 1 at Target. ITS EPICLYAWESOMESAUCE
you’d be even more awesome if you referred to your “husband,” boyfriend,” or “fiancee” as “the” husband, the boyfriend or they fiance .” Come on, any legit blogger would know that :0)
ZOMGZ THAT’S TRUE.
I need a HUBBY so I can call him THE HUSBAND and then take pictures of him with a pained expression on his face when he thinks about how I make him pose for my blog 5 times a day and never make up for it with a reach around.
You need to call him the DH.
three awesomeballs dipped in epicsauce if you know what that stands for. I gagged on my own vom when I learned…
I sadly know what it means.
I wish I didn’t.
Hmm, needs a few more smilies, and at least one picture of JUNK FOOD that you will NEVER eat (bc you totes have an ED), but otherwise…..nailed it.
You should give an awesomeness lesson at the next healthy living convention! U R SO INSPIRING!!!
Gained a re-newed reader in me today (kinda forgot about you when I fell off the wagon, sorry). EPICBALLSAUCE.
U WILL NEVER 4GET ME KNOW B/C I INSPIRED U W/MY BALL SAUCE (WHICH DEFINITELY IS NOT JIZ BECAUSE IT’S NOT VEGAN.)
Hahahahaha this post is AWESOME I think you should have linked to your favsies healthy living bloggers to promote their AWESOMENESS too
Just found your blog, read AWESOME your post, laughed so hard almost peed myself. Should be doing some freelance writing or some shit but I think I’ll peruse your blog some more!
i’ve found the definition of awesomeness
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=awesomeness
I don’t know how I came across this post 7 months later, but I like it. PS, are you in Rochester? I’m from Rochester but in NJ now…and my Roch-dar tells me that’s the court house and frontier field. I am willing to accept that I may be wrong though.