Me and my dubious logic... or lackthereof.?

As we’ve established, winter is a cock tease.

Yesterday I did my 10 after work on sidewalks and roads that were mostly clean. I ran into some ice on city sidewalks, but when I got towards the developments a couple miles away…the roads were dry. Even in the pitch dark.

Fast forward to today.

Snow on the ground from the get go, covering those nearly perfectly clean sidewalks.

I almost took a picture…but it was too depressing.

I ran in the morning since conditions were set to deteriorate. And it was….slow. Miserably slow for the most part. Which seems to be par for the course this year.

Having only got in 7, I debated doing a double. In fact, I got to the gym a bit early tonight. (I lift with a class) Since I had time to kill…I debated jumping on a brand new…dreadmill.

::gulp::

I don’t do dreadmills. I just…don’t.

I realize they have benefit in this weather…but I can’t bring myself to do it. And trust me, this isn’t a “real runner” vs. “not real runner” thing. I’m actually in awe of those serious folks who put SERIOUS miles on the damn things. Like, amazing amazing awe. Because I look at the damn things and my skin crawls. I think maybe I ran 6 miles on one once, but usually my limit is a half hour.

I don’t know why. I just can’t take it. I feel sick. I feel angry. I feel anxious. And being at a gym doesn’t help. TVs have no sound. Music can’t down anything out. The air doesn’t move.

It somehow made more sense for me to jump on a stairmaster before I lifted. At least I was away from the crowd. And at least I didn’t feel like I was cheating.

Cheating. That’s right.

That’s how my mind works.

I don’t know why.

Perhaps my bias stems from the fact that in high school I’d BEG and plead not to run indoors or on a treadmill in the indoor/early spring seasons. I’d do 10 x 400 uphill in a driving snow and enjoy it so much more than I would inside…even though I was frozen. (And in those days we were seriously lacking in good fabrics.)

I CAN’T make myself go indoors, even where it might be better for me to do so.

Stubbornness?
Claustrophobia?
My inability to get past the time counting down?

I don’t know.
Hell, maybe it’d be different if I had say…a room to myself in a basement. Maybe its the atmosphere. I don’t know.

I just know that because of my choice, I spend a lot of time barely moving thanks to the footing. Thus, its hard to say what quality of a “workout” I often get.

And it sucks.

Is the trade off worth it?

I don’t know.

Though, if I’m being honest? The reason why I made this post was due to stumbling upon this quote by the great Emil Zatopek (who ALWAYS looked like he was in serious pain when he ran, just like me ;p):

There is a great advantage in training under unfavorable conditions. It is better to train under bad conditions, for the difference is then a tremendous relief in a race.

I need to keep telling myself this because unless I’m willing to be more open to training indoors, I’ve got a few more weeks of this misery left.

Bring it.